Sometimes it is hard to keep going, besides trying your best. It is nice to give your all, to give all that you have that day, but if you’re at your limit or if most of your energy is spent, then giving what you have might seem like it isn’t even an attempt. It is why we need rest, breaks, and things that can recharge us. There should be some way to regain what you need to make it through the day. Making it through the day or week can be temporarily work, but purposely withholding that energy and effort from the daily task we need to do is hard too.
Our jobs need us to try, and the people around us need to know that we care, and that we are invested. Often I have seen that if we (or people in general,) don’t invest in the positive, then we often will take that same investment, then put it somewhere not so good. Like a relationship, if we don’t spend time enjoying each others company, and building each other up, then hate can sink in. It has been happening with some distant relationships like some older church friends that I feel pushed away by, then after a year of this 6 years of friendship feels undone. Or with the political and racial stories from the last year, when many said their feelings had been building up for a while. I mainly had the chance to watch a lot of this while printing, and creating clothing for people at my recent job.
People will freely express themselves on a shirt for a protest or for something where they want their opinions heard. Since it is clothing, I feel like I awkwardly get to know these people before assisting them with their self expression. After all I male their clothing. Sometimes a simple piece of fabric can hold a lot emotion, granted so could the school photos I made the year previously. The photos took some of the same ideas in a different process, since people build up to the photo day, then they take those photos and do something different with it after.
Working on the creative side of things has allowed me to think through things, and the time away from blogging allowed to be alone with my thoughts. After a few years of blogging, a few months away may not seem like too long a break, or hopefully it won’t in the long run. I will always create and record moments in life, since it is a main way I process. Stillness is not something that comes easy to me, and keeping silent takes a bit of energy too. Yet I don’t want to fuel any hate, sadness, or the egos of some while devaluing others. Thanks to this job making clothing, I know I’m adding a small helping hand into lives of 200-400 people a day. I’m giving some minor creative tweaks to a minimum of 200 shirts, (which can sometimes be multiple items for the same person.) Sometimes it makes me feel like a counselor, helping people get out the feelings they have nowhere else to put other than on a shirt, other times I feel like a worker that is mainly doing without much time to think things through. We have long work days, and short work weeks, it works out but takes its toll. It has also been a great way to work with people, but by socially distancing from them. Overall using some of the things I’m good at, and working in a method that works for me is fulfilling. Yet I still have to deal with the same things I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Then there’s everything else that happen with 2020. It was a hard year, that was very draining for many. And this is one of the ways I dealt with it, even if it isn’t the only way to do so. Things that give you hope outside of this day, week, or year helps too. Something out of the situation or cycle you are in. Commonly people point to generational or eternal things, like a government policy, a belief system, or nature. But whatever keeps you swimming.
Overall It is important to be ok, and sometimes that may take steps. Just keep at, and do what you got to do, and I will do what I got to, but I’ll be routing for you. Things change, and eventually will do so for the better.
Love from Juliana 